I can respect admiring certain celebrities because of their talent, but becoming consumed in their personal antics seems, to me, like a waste of time. After all, they are just people- like you and me!

But because celebrities’ lives are often so public that it can be difficult to avoid hearing about them, we might consider what else we can admire about them apart from their talent. Just as I would admire a non-celebrity who is doing great works and contributing to society in marvelous ways, I also admire celebrities who are doing the same.

Because many celebrities have lots of money, they have immense resources to help those in need. The celebrities I cannot admire are those who hoard their money or spend it frivolously when there are so many going hungry. But those celebs who do use their money and resources for good- those are the ones I can respect and admire.

So, instead of continuing to gossip about the latest scandal, we should be discussing and encouraging those celebs who are making a great contribution to the world- not only through their talent, but also through helping others.

We all know we have to “grow up” sometime, but this doesn’t mean we have to abandon our happiness and excitement for the little things in life. Can’t we remain child-like in this way?

And on a much larger scale, not only should we let ourselves feel pure joy over the little things, but we should feel happiness for living in general. Maybe it’s easier for children because they don’t have the same stresses that adults do- no bills to pay, no work, no family to take care of. Still, most of us can achieve continual happiness despite these stresses.

Daily, I’m consciously reminding myself to be grateful and content, and to be happy about every moment of my life. I just have a feeling that when I get much older, I will look back on my life now and think about how great it was… (ah, the younger years)… I don’t want to regret not enjoying my life now as much as I could have.

Children seem to have this figured out more than us adults. What a harsh reality.

Photo credit: Matt Hubbard

If somehow, I acquired one million dollars tomorrow, I would want to live exactly as I do now. I wouldn’t want to buy a bigger and better house. I wouldn’t want an expensive car. I would still dye my own hair and paint my own nails. I would still want to work.

Why? Because wealth does not bring happiness. Contentment and gratitude brings happiness.

I’ve been realizing lately how grateful I am for what I already have. I know that I have all I need, and much more! 

It seems that many Americans live their lives to acquire stuff. And most do not realize they already have enough until they die. When will we believe that we already have enough? That the house we currently live in is not too small. That the car we currently drive is good enough (as long as it keeps running). That the clothes we have, so long as they still fit, are just fine. After all, it shouldn’t be the material possessions we have that define us. I know that I don’t want to be defined by what I have.

I find that when I am fully content and grateful with where I’m at in life and what I have, I am happy. When I am discontent and ungrateful, and I begin to want more, my spirit feels uneasy and I am not as happy.

So, if I somehow got one million dollars tomorrow, I would try to live just as I live right now, and spend just as much as I spend right now because I know that I am happiest when I am content.

Have you ever heard stories of people who win the lottery only to blow through the money? These are not just stories of people who are financially stupid- they are stories of people who were in constant states of discontentment and wanting more stuff. Isn’t it sad when shopping (or buying stuff) begins to take over our lives- so that we can’t just enjoy the freebies in life. Joy doesn’t cost money- so why do we try to spend more money thinking that it will bring us joy?

The moments I can think of in my life that have brought me the most joy have been completely free. Spending time with those I love. Working by building trails at Northwest Youth Corps. Hiking and enjoying the beauty of nature. These have been some of the most beautiful and joyous times of my life.

I’m not sure who in America began teaching the idea that spending money and buying better things makes us happy. It’s a complete lie. Sure, it may stimulate the economy- but it doesn’t stimulate our lives. It only helps make us less grateful and more discontent people, which seems to be a hard cycle to break once one becomes swept into it.

Getting a million dollars would be nice, because I could have security for retirement and I could help people in need, but it’s not something that I hope for. Right now, I am perfectly content and grateful with what I already have.

After just watching the documentary “Ghosts of Abu Ghraib” in my Capstone class, the happiness I walked into the classroom with slowly diminished to a sort of darkness.

The film depicted the torture of Iraqi prisoners that were held captive in Abu Ghraib- torture that was administered by American soldiers. I saw pictures of some of the torture. People were stripped of their clothing, sexually embarrassed, beaten, forced into positions of discomfort for hours at a time, awaken by cruel means if they fell asleep… these were people who were abused- human beings!

 Here is a picture of an Iraqi prisoner who was tortured by American soldiers.

I wonder how humans can act so corruptly- that they would obey orders to administer cruelty in fear of what could happen to them if they speak up. And the officers ordering commands were the most corrupt. They acted unlike humans, but instead, monsters. It does not matter what information the miliary needed from these people- none of their actions against the Iraqi prisoners were justified.

And now, I cannot stop thinking about the abuse that continues today. Although I do not know specifically what is happening right now, I know that horrible things are occurring, and that I can’t do anything to stop it.

As I think about the abuse of humans that is constant on our planet, my daily living seems very vain. Soon, I am graduating, and I will attend the graduation ceremony- but for what? To honor myself and my success. And then I will have a party with my friends, and we will drink and just have fun. But it seems like such vanity when I think of all those who currently suffer. Why should I be able to live joyfully when so many live in agony?

I care about people- even those I have never met. sometimes, like today, it affects my ability to be happy. It feels right to mourn for these humans, but at the cost of my happiness and those I effect by being depressed, it doesn’t feel right.

How can I stay happy when my fellow human beings suffer? How can I go on living my amazing life- which seems full of frivolous vanity- when I have knowledge of people who continue to be abused?

I hope that I can begin to look for an answer. Right now, I cannot. I am still sad, and I don’t feel like doing much of anything.

Suze Orman- the financial guru of our time.

I watch the Suze Orman show every Saturday- or I tape it and watch it later. I also watch ‘Til Debt Do Us Part, so I’ve heard personal accounts of the devastating financial realities that some people face. Most of the time, these people have gotten caught up in the American Dream, of buying lots of stuff and big houses- often putting it on credit and going into massive debt. These people are so stressed out over their financial craziness that they cannot see any hope of a way out. 

I never want to experience this. And as long as I can make an income, I don’t have to get myself into this situation. 

Here is an article from MSN money that tells how a person can be “rich” by starting to save in her 20′s. http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/MoneyInYour20s/ToGetRichStartSavingInYour20s.aspx 

So, if I started saving at 25, at a mere $2,000 a year, I could likely have over half a million dollars at retirement. That’s how compound interest can work for you. The earlier you start, the better. 

$2,000 a year is less than $200 a month. Many people may not think they have an extra $200 a month, but it’s pretty easy to scrounge that money up if you’re used to buying frivolous things. Do you buy coffee? Do you buy any clothes on a monthly basis? Do you eat out- even at fast food? If most people look over their monthly expenses, they can easily find an extra $200 a month when they are working full-time.  I know that I can start saving well before age 25, and I can probably save more than $2,000 a year. That means I will likely have a fabulous retirement! 

Some people, however, have gotten themselves into a financial hole- where even $200 a month is a fortune. Some have bought houses they cannot afford. Some have many car payments they cannot afford. And some, it seems, are unable to break the cycle of spending too much on meaningless stuff. 

But for the majority of us, there is immense hope for retirement! Most people in their 20′s don’t think about retirement and saving. This is the time to have fun! But when you’re in your 40′s, and you really have to think about saving money for retirement, I bet you will wish you didn’t spend so lavishly in your 20′s. 

Most people who are wealthy in retirement are rich because they worked hard and learned to save. We can’t rely on social security to get us through- we must take action and plan our own success. 

Saving money doesn’t have to be hard- many of us just make it hard by wasting our money on frivolous things. Even if you can only save $10 a month at first, it’s a start. The more you can get into the habit of saving, the easier it will become. And as Suze Orman says, it’s never too late to start saving for retirement.

TDI VW Jetta- powered by diesel fuel

Most Americans know something about the effect gasoline has on the environment. With more and more cars on the road each year, our environmental impact is becoming dangerous. However, we have resources to do something about it! 

Here is an article about Biodiesel, its advantages, and how you can potentially make it yourself: http://www.biotu.com/making-bio-diesel-solution-to-oil-crisis/9/  

But even if you don’t have the time or money to do that, you can buy a diesel car. Volkswagen, for example, makes some wonderful diesel cars and SUVs. Their cars can get around 45-50 mpg and the effect of diesel emissions on the environment is far less than that of gasoline. Also, if you have a diesel car, you can convert it (by buying and installing a simple kit) to run on filtered vegetable oil. You can get this used vegetable oil for free from many fast food restaurants, and your car will not have any negative effect on the environment. Also, you don’t have to pay for fuel! I recommend you do this conversion when the warranty on your car is up, however, because doing such a conversion will void the warranty. 

I currently drive a gas-powered vehicle- a manual Jetta that gets an average of 30 mpg, which is still pretty good. But I often think of how great it would be to have a diesel car- one that I can eventually convert to run on vegetable oil. When I have saved the money to do so, my next vehicle purchase will be a diesel. Another great advantage of having a diesel car is that they typically last much longer than gas cars. If you keep up on the maintenance, expect to be able to drive that car for 300,000 miles or more. 

With more diesels, our dependence on foreign oil goes down and our environmental impact improves. Let’s send a message to the car companies that diesels are the way to go by purchasing diesels in the future!

It seems to me that the vast majority of Americans do not know how to properly budget, or stick to their budget. It is important to create and stick to a budget, however, because it helps us avoid getting into unnecessary debt and it potentially frees up money we can save or give away.

For my wedding, which was this past August, I created a tight budget, and I stuck to it (within a few hundred). In total, I spent less than $5,000 which included my dress and my husband’s outfit, and our wedding bands.

I think it was a beautiful wedding- everything I could have hoped for- and I don’t think I would have been any happier on that day had I spent more money.

How did I do it?

First, I figured out what was most important to me, and I spent the most on that. I planned out every possible expense in advance and put a dollar amount for that category or expense which I could not exceed. If you want more leeway on your budget, you can borrow money from other categories and subtract from some to make up the difference- as long as the total amount you spend does not exceed your total budget.

Even if you or your parents have the money to spend on a lavish wedding, it is important that you don’t spend a lot of money. The money you or your parents save can be used to give to people in need. We don’t need expensive things or weddings! Instead, we should help people who are struggling to get by.

Take the wedding ring for example: some people spend thousands of dollars for a band with some diamonds. To me, this is wasteful. It is a way for people to brag and show off their expensive gift. Maybe you just really like diamonds, but what is the motivation behind this? Is it that you like to feel important by having expensive, flashy things?

If you haven’t read my thoughts about how we need to reshape and rethink the current American Dream, click here, then read the posts below, to catch up.

Alongside buying an expensive wedding ring, it seems to me that the motivation for most to have an expensive wedding is to show off. Isn’t it possible to have just as much fun and just as “special” a day with less flashy stuff? Afterall, what is important is that you get married and that you are able to spend time with the people you love on your wedding day. When I look back on my wedding years from now, I don’t imagine I will think for one second about the things I bought for it. I will think about the memories I had with my husband and the people who were there to support us.

Here is a sample of my wedding budget (although I do not remember the exact figures):

Dress: $200 + $75 for alteration (I found it online, on sale at Davids Bridal)

Husband’s outfit: $150 (bought a simple button up dress shirt, black slacks and dress shoes)

Wedding and reception venue: $900 including chairs and tables (this was most important to me because I wanted it to be outdoors, with a water view)

Food: $750 (We ordered catering from Macaroni Grill, and my mom helped negotiate lots of free food)

Drinks: $50 or less (We got water bottles, since it was a hot day, and made lemonade. Skip the alcohol if you want to save money!)

Wedding bands: $200

Decorations/ tableclothes etc.: $300

Photography: Free! (My mom’s friend wanted to start a business, so she used our wedding as her first trial run and used our pictures as advertisement to promote her photography)

Music: Under $10 (Most of the music we used at the reception and during the ceremony we already had on our computer. We downloaded a couple new songs, and burned all the music to CD’s. One of my husband’s groomsmen, who was also the singer during the ceremony, brought a sound system that we borrowed.)

Cake: $150 (My mom helped me find a lady who wanted to start a cake business, so she made a gorgeous cake for a cheap price and used pictures of this cake as advertisement to promote her business)

Officiant’s fee: $200 (which he donated to charity)

Hair and make-up: Free! (My friend Alice is amazing at doing hair and make-up. As a gift, she did my hair and make-up as well as the bridesmaid’s)

Videography: Free! (Had a family friend video tape)

Invitations: $250 (This includes stamps)

Flowers: $400 (I chose to do limited flowers, since the location was beautiful in itself. I had flowers around the arch, which was provided from the venue, and bouqets for myself and the bridesmaids. I chose flowers that were in season to save money)

Bridal party gifts: $100 (these gifts don’t need to be super expensive, just something to show thoughtfulness and care for the people supporting you)

Transportation: $50 (for gas, because we had to drive from Seattle to Portland. No limo, just drove what we had!)

Wedding planner: Free! (As a gift, my aunt, who used to be a wedding planner, helped me out here)

Misc: $500 or less (there are always expenses you don’t count on, so it’s nice to have a misc category that you can pull from when needed)

= $4285!

Knowing what I know now, and if I had to plan this wedding again, there are many other ways I could have found to save extra money. So, you can actually do a wedding for much less than this. Negotiate with companies and people to get prices lower! Find friends who are talented and creative to help you. Instead of getting you a wedding gift, you can see if they will help you in other ways.

I loved my wedding. It didn’t matter to me that I didn’t have really fancy stuff there- all that mattered was that I got married and that the people I loved were there to share it with me. And afterwards, we had a fabulous honeymoon in Germany with the money we saved on the wedding!

We got Boots about a year ago. We saw her on the “Free” craigslist section and drove to Kent, WA to pick her up. She was only 5 weeks old- the tiniest thing I could hold in my hands. At the house we got her from, she had been separated from her mother (who was living with a different family) and put into a room by herself. We could only hear dogs barking as we stood outside the door.

Boots had some medical problems when we got her, but after we took her to the vet a few times, she became healthy and hasn’t had any problems since.

I cannot understand why many people buy pets at stores when there are so many pets that need to be adopted. If you get a pet at an animal shelter, chances are they will already have been spayed or neutered and will have their current shots. We only had to pay $70 for Diesel, and that was to help cover the cost of these procedures.

Adopt a pet, save the money you would have spent buying one, and help save an animal’s life!

Photo credit: Matt Hubbard

There are many benefits to being a “giver”. Giving forces us to be less self-focused, and it helps us become better people, who are more beneficial to society. Giving brings us joy. Giving brings us freedom.

But, giving can be detrimental.

My last experience with giving led to an unfortunate turn of events. One of my good friends from high school (I will call her Sally, since I don’t know any Sally’s) had been struggling financially. With a baby to care for, she was working full-time, supporting herself and child, but barely making it. I decided to help her out.

I bought her baby clothes, shampoo, toothpaste, other toiletries and anything else I thought she might need that she couldn’t buy with food stamps. I also gave her some money. Presenting the gift was joyous. She was undoubtedly grateful, and I was grateful that I could help.

On several occasions after giving her this gift, she asked me to “borrow” money, just until she got paid. I had always told myself I wouldn’t let anyone borrow money- that if I was able, I would just give it because I knew the potential harm that could come from becoming a lender. So, I made excuses, telling her that I didn’t have the money to lend her (which was true, because at the time I was planning my wedding, so all the extra money was going to that).

About two weeks before my wedding, Sally called asking again to borrow money. She told me she had no way to get to work without any gas money, so I sent her some. She promised to pay me back within the next week, but I told her to save a stamp and just give it to me at the wedding.

I think I must have been caught up in the excitement of the wedding, because it took me until after getting back from the honeymoon to realize that Sally had not been present for my “special day”. And there had been no attempt from her to contact me. So, I contacted her. She told me that her car had broken down before the wedding, but I knew that was not the reason she hadn’t come.

With no word from her about paying me back, I messaged her about it. There was never a response.

A second try, and no response again.

Finally, I e-mailed her, explaining that she was forgiven of the money she owed me. I told her the money wasn’t worth our friendship. She replied, not directly addressing the issue, and the friendship never returned to normal.

Going from good friends to rarely speaking now, I believe my decision to lend her money, and the events that followed, severely damaged the friendship.

The lesson is clear here- that we should proceed with caution if we must lend someone money- but there is a deeper question. How do we both become givers and not let people take advantage?

If we give to our friends and family, because they are in need, how do we stop them from always wanting more?

I’ll be honest here and not pretend to have any answers to this dilemma. It’s easy enough to give to charities and organizations that help people in poverty, but when we are giving directly to those we know and love, how do we make sure the relationship stays the same? And how do we ensure that we won’t be asked continually for money afterwards?

I do believe we should first help our family and friends in need, before reaching out to strangers, but the risks seem high.

————

If you have any advice as to how to approach and handle giving to those we know, please comment and offer us your insights!

Read this article.

I especially like what how he says we must believe we can accomplish something. There is power in thinking something will  happen. I don’t know much about the psychology behind it, but if we  believe (truly believe, not just wish) we will achieve something,  studies have shown that it is much more likely to happen. Maybe it’s  our subconscious prompting our conscious to set ourselves up for  success somehow.

Eleanor Roosevelt said:

“Believe in yourself. You gain strength, courage, and  confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear  in the face… You must do that which you think you cannot  do.”